Although I'm not a size 00 by any stretch of the imagination, I am feeling substantially lighter following my bout of lurgy. To celebrate, I bought a new dress to wear on Friday night for Matt's birthday celebrations.
After El's birth I realised my clothes-buying mantra had changed from "would Kate Moss be seen dead in it?" to "can I tumble dry it?" - not a good shift in terms of fashion cred. Now the focus tends to be on "can I get away with a browse around H&M before Eliott loses the will to live?"
I lost him three times on Friday. During the Debenhams incident (which happened straight after he'd spent the duration of my trying-on session looking under other women's cubicle curtains and giggling), he escaped from his pram while I was taking a mobile call. As I searched desperately between row-upon-row of John Rocha's celtic and ethnic fusions, I could hear his crazy laugh and his trainers, elusively slapping the tiled floor as he ran further and further away. I finally caught up with him hiding behind a vast Debut dress and the air was blue, I can tell you. In Zara he did another bloody Houdini and I found him minutes (that felt like hours) later, stood by the third-floor window, gazing down onto Croydon's high street and banging his fists against the glass like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. At least Woolies was easy; I just had to find the Buzz Lightyear aisle.
Eventually I resorted to desperate measures to keep him still and happy; a McDonald's Rolo milkshake (I know), which bought me enough time to pick a dream dress from TopShop (gold, mini, hand wash only - positively exotic!)
All this running away in crowded shopping malls is not good for my nerves, although, like the lurgy, it does wonders for my waistline. The concept of "Tot Grab Man" isn't sinking in and I'm buggered if I know how to stop him flitting the pushchair. Friends have suggested reigns (ha!) or a wrist link (ha ha!) - but Eliott is a stubborn boy who won't be tethered. (I also admit without reservation that he is stronger than me and would win, hands down, in a fight.)
I think our shopping days together may be numbered.
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2 comments:
"looking under other women's cubicle curtains and gigglin"
Gosh, he plays that game too? Do remember to tell him it can be very scary if you pick the wrong one and Bertha is trying on her new cycling outfit.
Perhaps you need to tell him Buzz Lightyear always stayed in his stroller? Or that Doc Emmet Brown has rigged it up for time travel if he stays put?
Have you tried gaffer tape? :)
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