Last night I watched Legends of the Fall for the first time. Or should I say, I watched half of it until Matt started dropping strong hints for me to turn it off by burying his head under pillows and the duvet and sighing and tutting at regular intervals.
In some distress (Pitt had just sprouted his beard) I decided to get my self off to sleep (excuse the pun) with a nice Brad-flavoured fantasy. 'Brilliant,' I thought, snuggling down under the duvet and recalling images of him taming that wild horse (yee haw).
Then the fantasy machine kicked into action.
'Now, I don't want to cheat on Matt so I'll have to engineer a way that I can get off with Brad and not feel guilty. Ok, so Matt had an affair and we're on a trial separation. Eliott can't be anywhere near so I'll have to send him to my mum in France for a week or so. Matt won't like that, he wouldn't want Eliott to be out of the country for a whole week without him, especially with things the way they are between us. Ok, don't worry about that, it's not important. Now, how do I meet Brad? It'll have to be work-related. I'm unlikley to get any one-off film-related commissions so maybe I've been given a short-term contract for a film magazine. But I wouldn't really want to do that would I? Ok, Ok. So Brad's working for a charity (I'll decide which one in a bit) and I'm writing a piece for Marie Claire...no, no, a magazine I've already worked for is more likely. Red! I'm doing something for them and they loved it so much they have given me a regular spot with the freedom to interview who I want. Fantasy land! Actually though, that reminds me, I must finish up that box-out for the article I'm writing for them....no, no, no, don't think about work. Brad Brad Brad. Ok, I'm doing a piece for Red about celebrities and charity and Brangelina are in town - wait, can't have her involved. She can be out at a function in a London hotel. No, no, because then she could come back early and catch us. Better she's at home in the states, pregnant again - no, no, no. Can't do it with a man who has a pregnant wife back at home. She's left him! She's left him to be reunited with Billy Bob Thornton (now that would make a good feature - celebs who rebound to their exes...) Stoppit! I'm thinking about work again. Stay focused. Brad, Brad. So Ange has left him and he's here and I've been sent to interview him. Now what should I wear and should I carry a bag or not? Oh God, what if I'm on my period???'
At this point I got too stressed about the whole thing and passed out.
Thankfully, I had a wonderful dream about snogging Jason Lee. He was in character as Earl Hickey and I swapped a ticket to a nightclub for a delicious fumble.
The subconscious is a wonderful and simple thing.
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Mother, journalist, perpetual teenager - in that order.
9 comments:
JoJo! That made me smile, hehe, poor you, work has eaten your fantasy life!
x
Jason Lee's much hotter than Brad anyway.
Oh yes, he certainly is. Yum. *drifts off into own fantasy*
mmmmmm, Incrediboy
hahaha, it's because you have lost all that weight........ personaly I would rather think of James May from top gear!
H*I*L*A*R*I*O*U*S*! And I thought it was just me who got too tangled up in the practicalities to ever get tangled up in my Mr Fantasy's sheets! Hahahaha! Still chuckling.
Who the heck is James May?
On reflection I've decided that Jason Lee is higher up the pecking order and I'll take him over Pitt anyday. Perhaps I'll fantasise about him tonight. Do you think our children are the same ages? Could we meet at a creche? But why would he be in London? And would I ask him to shave the 'tache or no? See, I'm at it again!
I never get passed the taxi ride to dinner before falling asleep with fantasy construction exhaustion.
i'm here via belgian waffle, and i'll be back. this post is a riot. crying over here, i'm telling you!
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